Thursday, November 3, 2011

It's not easy


thank you all for the well wishes...
it has been quite a week...
you don't realize how much goes with losing a loved one....
the phones calls that need to be made...
calling folks that you haven't seen or talked to in years...
finding a way to tell them that their relative or old friend...
has passed away...over the phone...
some you have never even met....
their is no easy way to say it...


it is hard on them too....
to hear the news...
try to process it...
then try to give you comfort at the same time...


two sons having to make all the decisions...
wanting to do the right thing for their Dad...
would he want this?
would he want that?

planning the date to give travelers a chance to get here...
all the while dealing with your own grief....
consoling others with their grief....their regrets...
thinking about your regrets...
maybe I should have done this...
maybe I should have done that...
in your head you know that it will happen one day...
but in your heart it always happens to fast...
it is not expected....
my husband said something to me at the hospital...
that made us both laugh...
isn't it funny when someone is alive we see all their faults...
but when they die...
we see all the great things about them...
one minute they are a son of a you know what...
the next they are the greatest guy ever...
Maybe we should start seeing more of the good...
and less of the bad...
while we have them here...

85 comments:

Lauri said...

Praying for you and your during this time, be well. Seasons do change, as your pictures depict. Things will improve.

deb duty said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Very good advice and lovely photos.

Geneva said...

I'm glad I dropped by your blog... I came to see your photographs, but was moved by your story. Thank you for opening your heart...praying for you and your family

Sandra said...

i have been through what you describe with the loss of my mother in 1990 at age 63 and daddy at age 93 in 2006. you are so right, that last sentence is all true. our minds shut down and we remember the good things and that is God's way of helping us deal with them being no longer in our lives. god bless you and your family

Dawn said...

That is SO VERY TRUE! Thank you for the reminder. Sending (hugs).xx

Joani said...

Sending hugs, prayers, & love.

Katie @Pinke Post said...

Thank you for sharing from the heart during this time of loss. Praying for you to have peace during this time. I love what you share about seeing the great things and good in people while they are here with us.

"Auntie" sezzzzzz... said...

Many gentle hugs, to you Dear...

Wishing more people would state their wishes, before they die. I want to be cremated (and my family KNOWS) and thus avoid all that, having a wake thing. Ugh... I have too many bad memories of wakes, to want to make my family do that laying-out-and-viewing-and-making-family-stand-in-a-kind-of-a-grieving-line. -sighhhhhhhh-

But... To each his/her own. :-)

Gentle hugs,
"It is a joy to walk in the bare woods. The moonlight is not broken by the heavy leaves. The leaves are down, and touching the soaked earth, Giving off the odors that partridges love."
~ Robert Bly, Solitude Late at Night in the Woods

Linda Chapman said...

Tender thoughtful words in this message. We all should take them to heart. Prayers for peace and comfort this morning......for you and yours.

Sue said...

Thinking of you & please know you and your family are in my prayers. Also, thanks for the beautiful post and pictures.

Take care, Sue

Seeing Each Day said...

I particularly like your last photo. Sorry for your family's loss as well as the very draining emotions you must be going through right now. It's an incredibly sad and difficult time to deal with - and I say that not from experience of what you're going through but both my mother and mother- in law are declining in different ways but both bring with them difficult emotions as well as that many of my friends are going through the same sorts of times, you realize what a hard time of life this is. I think what your husband said is so utterly accurate, and as you say, it's not necessarily trying to be nice, it's more an automatic action that you start thinking of their positive traits.

TexWisGirl said...

you just shared a whole lot of wisdom here. and honest pain and angst, too. i know all of the family and friends you are having to contact appreciate it, even if it is painful for all involved...

hundredsofideas said...

It is very hard on all concerned when there is a loss...

Pieni Lintu said...

I'm so sorry for your loss!!! Hugs for you! <3

These photos are so pretty. <3

Pieces of Sunshine said...

Sorry to hear of your fil passing. It is a difficult time, especially for yourselves as you are busy with all the associated happenings. You are so right about your conclusions Deb. You photos suit your story well.

Christy said...

So sorry to read about your lose. Said a prayer for you and your family.

Craftymoose Crafts said...

Your husband's words are so wise.

nanny said...

Well said Deb....."See more of the good, while we have them here"

thinking of you and your family...

Tamar SB said...

Gorgeous! These are amazingly stunning!

Dolores said...

Keeping your family in my prayers.... So much truth
To your husband's remarks...
Hugs,

Flora said...

Such a stressful time for you and your family...but what your hubby said is so true!! Take care.

Cindy P said...

So sorry for your loss. That is such great advice though. And those pictures are beautiful. I hope that your photography can bring you some comfort during this time.

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